


Somebody stepped inside your soul

by stjarna



Series: Season 6 spec fics [11]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Bus Kids - Freeform, Feels, Fitzsimmons undertones, Gen, Tension, canon-compliant MCD implied, feels with hopeful end, season 6 spec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 18:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16225118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna
Summary: It's been a few weeks since they found Fitz in space and brought him back to the Lighthouse, but things are far from normal between Daisy and him.[Can sort of be read as a follow-up toNew beginning, but works just as well as a stand alone.]





	Somebody stepped inside your soul

**Author's Note:**

> Big thank you to @dilkirani for the beta and @lilsciencequeen for the pre-read.
> 
> Title from "The Troubles" by U2.

_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Somebody stepped inside your soul_  
_Little by little they robbed and stole_  
_Till somebody else was in control_

\-- "The Troubles" by U2

* * *

Daisy walked into the supply room, scanning the seemingly endless row of shelves to locate the alien artifact Mack had asked her to get. She’d been sure she’d previously seen it on one of the shelves towards the front and thus hadn’t bothered to turn on more lights. Now she regretted her decision as her eyes struggled to adjust to the dimming darkness in the parts of the room further towards the back.

She turned a corner, before freezing in her steps, her hand flying to her chest. “Jesus-fucking-Christ!” she exclaimed.

His head shot up in startled surprise where he was leaning with two hands on a table. He stared at her wide-eyed, his lips slightly parted, before his gaze quickly darted away from her, looking back at the table as he mumbled a quiet “Sorry.”

Daisy furrowed her brow. Part of her wanted to step closer, but the other half was frozen with trepid hesitation. “What are you doing here?”

“Gathering supplies,” he replied quietly, never looking up, the phrase sounding more like a question than a statement.

“Right.” Daisy crossed her arms in front of her chest, before pulling one hand free, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the table Fitz was standing at. “And the dark clearly helps with whatever invisible tech you’re staring at.”

He clenched his jaw, exhaling a stuttering breath, but still his eyes fixed on the nothingness right in front of him.

Some of Daisy’s anxiousness that she always felt around him morphed into annoyance over his passiveness. “You know, Simmons was looking for you earlier.”

He gnawed on his lower lip without giving a response.

“What are you hiding from?” Daisy asked, feeling both irritation and curiosity.

“I’m not hiding,” he mumbled, barely audibly. “Can’t hide when you’re running away from yourself.” He paused briefly, before adding, “You should know that.”

The words were uttered without emotion, and yet to Daisy they stung like an accusation. She raised her eyebrows. “Gee. I’m glad you’re trying so hard to make things less awkward between us.”

He didn’t reply, but his fingers curled slightly where they were resting on the table, as if he were trying to claw himself into the smooth surface.

Daisy watched his tense body, and suddenly the silence that surrounded him became too much to bear, pushing her emotions from annoyance into full-blown anger.

“God, what’s wrong with you?” she yelled, raising her hands in front of herself. “We searched for you for months, and now it’s like we never found you to begin with. Like are you seriously going to make the woman who loves you search for you all over again?”

He closed his eyes, trying to look away.

“I don’t get you!” Daisy screamed, hearing her voice echo in the large storage room. “You’re so fucking lucky and yet—”

He spun around, his eyes fiery with anger and Daisy thought it was the first time in weeks that she’d seen any real emotion from him.

“Lucky?” he yelled back, waving one hand to the side. “We’ve been separated by the ocean. By—” His trembling hand moves up, tapping his temple. “—by my brain injury. By ‘real’ S.H.I.E.L.D. By half a galaxy. By a virtual world and a rogue robot—” He pressed his fingers into his chest as if trying to draw blood. “—both of which I helped design. By time. And by death. How’s that lucky?” He threw both hands in the air, staring at Daisy expectantly.

“Because you found a way back to each other, every single time,” Daisy replied, matching his volume and anger. “You got another chance. And another. Lincoln and I never had that. We never got a second chance. Not even in the Framework, because—”

“—because I killed him.” His voice was quieter now. He placed his hands on his hips, looking down at the floor and nodding to himself.

Daisy slumped her shoulders. “Because he never was real in there to begin with.”

“His screams are real,” he replied quietly, looking back up, his fingers once again tapping against the skin next to his eyes. “Right in here. And that voice. The one that strapped you to a table and cut open your neck. That’s real. That’s there. Whether I hear it or not. It’s there.” He clenched his jaw, shaking his head, his voice once again getting louder. “So no, I’m not trying to make things less awkward between us. I don’t deserve that. And I’m not trying to hide from Jemma. I can’t leave her even though it would be for the best. For her. For you. For everyone.” He gestured at himself, his tone trembling. “Because I’m broken. I’m broken beyond fixing and I’m so tired of causing everyone I love pain. Everyone—” His voice broke off, and he looked at her with tears and desperation in his eyes. “But, I’m selfish. I can’t live without her and I’m not ready _not_ to live.”

Daisy stood still for a moment, looking at him, broken and bruised and scared like a beaten animal. She let his words sink in, his self-doubt, his self-anger. And suddenly it was like the magnet that had frozen her in her spot since she’d found him in the darkness of the storage room had been switched off. She surged forward, wrapping her arms around him, feeling his muscles tense.

She was pulled back to a distant memory, in which she’d been the one trying to fight against a friend’s embrace, a friend’s love, a friend’s forgiveness. She remembered how Mack had held her tighter, hadn’t allowed herself to deprive herself of a hug, of love she had so desperately needed.

So now she held Fitz tighter, even gave him a gentle quake that startled him enough to relax in her embrace.

“Don’t you dare say that,” she whispered into his ear, feeling her eyes fill with tears. “Don’t you dare say you’re broken beyond fixing. You’re not.” She squeezed his shoulders a bit harder. “Do you hear me? You’re not. You once told me that I was different and there was nothing wrong with that. You’re different too. And I learned to live with what made me different. I learned to control it. And so can you. You can learn to control him. You can heal.” A pained smile flashed across her face as she buried her head in his shoulder. “You’re right. I’ve tried to run from myself. I tried to push the people I loved away because I thought I didn’t deserve better. And you never turned your back on me. You told me that yourself. Well, guess what. It’s my turn.” She pushed herself back slightly, taking his face in her palms, waiting until he opened his eyes. “I cannot forgive him for what he did. But I can forgive you for what he did.”

He grimaced, squinting his eyes, causing the tears clinging to his lashes to jump off and roll down his cheeks.

“No,” he whispered, trying to shake his head, but Daisy held his face in her palms, stopping his movement.

“Yes,” she said sternly, wiping away his tears with her thumbs. “Yes, I can. You can’t take that from me. I forgive you.” Her lips pulled into a smile, and she felt a warmth and serenity spread through her body she hadn’t felt in months. “I forgive you, Fitz.”

His face contorted and his body began to shake with sobs, his knees giving in below him. Daisy wrapped her arms around him once more, allowing him to cry against her shoulder.


End file.
